If youre finding that youre not currently living the type of life youd really like, have a look at how you might be responsible for your situation. There are three critical things that you can change immediately that will have a dramatic impact on your quality of life. The vast majority of us are guilty of committing at least one these errors yours truly included. So what are the three critical factors? - The first is BLAMING others for your situation: "The government is responsible for the terrible economic conditions right now its no wonder I cant afford to buy a home!"
"My boss wont give me the respect - or the promotion! - that I deserve." "That was so-and-sos responsibility, and now I have to clean up their mess." Blah, blah, blah. The more you blame other people, the more power you give away. How can YOU make your life better, if everyone else is to blame? The first step is to take 100% responsibility for your life. You are in control. You - and only you - have put yourself in the situation you currently find yourself in. Without a doubt, many people will read this and think, Well its true! So-and-so did put me in this, or that situation. Well, go on and keep thinking that way then, if youd like. But I guarantee this: if you keep doing what youve always done, youll keep getting the results youve always gotten. - The second critical mistake is JUSTIFYING your actions or attitudes:
When you justify youre saying to yourself (along with anyone else silly enough to listen) that you are vindicated, that responsibility lies elsewhere. When you absolve yourself of responsibility for your situation, you are telling the Universe, "Someone else is in control here. I dont have the power to control my life, and I dont want it." Instead of justifying, try taking a good, hard look at the situation youre absolving yourself from. Ask yourself, "How did I in some way participate in creating this situation?" Look for opportunities to learn from the past and you will be better equipped to deal with similar situations in the future. - The third and final critical error is COMPLAINING - and this is by far the most potent and damaging to your ability to live a happy and successful life:
When you complain, what are you focusing on? Of course, the answer is that youre focusing on the negative. Have you ever heard the idea that what you focus on expands? If you believe, like I do, that this is true, then when you focus on the negative, youll end up expanding the negative - the very thing youre trying to avoid! Even the word avoid is hurtful to your ability to be happy. Instead of trying to avoid pain, try focusing on trying to find or enhance pleasure and the positive side of life.
So whats the solution? Try and go 24 hours - just one day - without blaming others, justifying your situation or actions, or complaining (out loud or in to yourself) and see how you do. My guess is that youll find yourself making one of these critical mistakes - what I call happy killers - within the first hour. Thats okay. Just start over. Every time you find yourself complaining, blaming or justifying just stop, be grateful that youve noticed this harmful behaviour, send out a cancel notice to the Universe, then reset the timer and start over again. Do this and I guarantee that youll find yourself well on your way to living a more fruitful, productive and, most importantly, happy life. |
